Cold Opening: Broad City S1E1
Only one episode in, and the ladies of Broad City are already boldly announcing themselves as rising, form-breaking powerhouses in the world of situational comedy.
With a nod to their modest beginnings as an indie Youtube web series, the show's first ever cold opening plays on the medium of video-chatting software as both a facilitator and filter among friends.
In under two minutes, Abbi and Ilana--their real names, as well as the names of their characters--packs in the character development, sets up numerous episodic and seasonal plot-lines, and use prop-based humor as a clear nod to this show's intended audience--that's right, this may not be one for the young or sexually repressed.
Screenwriters, enjoy our play-by-play breakdown S1E1: "What a Wonderful World" below, and be sure to catch Broad City on Comedy Central!
00:00
00:04
00:05
[vibrator buzzing]
00:08
[music playing]
00:11
[computer alert beeping]
00:14
ILANA
Ab, Ab, Ab-- No joke,
today is the day we become
Abbi and Ilana,
00:17
ILANA (cont'd)
the boss b*tches we are
00:18
ILANA (cont'd)
in our minds.
Are you with me?
00:21
ABBI
Yeah, I'm with you. Awesome.
(beat) Are you-- Is that the whole thing?
ILANA
Obviously I have a plan.
00:28
ILANA (cont'd)
Tonight we are going to see a secret pop-up Lil Wayne concert at Bowery Ballroom.
00:33
ABBI I can't, I'm so broke.
00:35
ILANA
No excuses, girl. I'm getting big
ol' balls of mozzarella today.
Chea-- Get it!
Chea-- Harder.
00:40
ABBI
You're gonna have to speak
in English for me.
00:42
ILANA
I am getting my paycheck today
and I can spot you, bitch!
00:44
ABBI
I wish that I could, but I am so close to finishing season one of "Damages," and I made this, like, amazing cashew stir-fry for the week, so I'm actually pretty booked.
00:54
ILANA
Stir-fry? Can I talk to the Abbi who stole a van?
00:58
ILANA (cont'd)
Ab, you're so stuck in your little routine.
1:00
ILANA (cont'd)
I bet you schedule when you jack off.
1:02
ABBI
Schedule when I ja--
(exhales deeply)
1:06
ABBI (cont'd)
Oh, my God.
1:08
ABBI (cont'd)
Is that Lincoln?
1:09
LINCOLN
Yep.
1:10
ABBI
Is he inside of you?
1:11
LINCOLN
Yep.
1:12
ILANA
I'm just keeping him warm.
1:13
ABBI
Alright-- Let's just set some ground rules here for everybody involved.
1:17
ABBI (cont'd)
I don't want to see you have sex.
1:19
ABBI (cont'd)
Let's try and avoid that.
Lincoln, uh...
1:21
ABBI (cont'd)
You seem well.
1:23
LINCOLN
Thank you--
1:24
LINCOLN
I've been doing this no-bread
diet and it's pretty good.
It's been working.
1:27
ABBI
Alright---I'm gonna head out, then.
1:29
ILANA
Peace, bye.
1:30
ILANA
That was hot--
That was cool.
1:32
ILANA
That was like a threesome,
in a way.
LINCOLN
Uh, Ilana... What are we doing?
1:36
LINCOLN (cont'd)
Are we just having sex,
hooking up?
Are we dating?
1:38
LINCOLN (cont'd)
What is this?
ILANA
This is purely physical.
1:43
LINCOLN Why does this always
happen to me?
