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Ahmad

409

Tina Turner

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Proficiency Scores

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You're great at setting the scene and making your story come to life with all the right details!

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Your vivid imagery creates an immersive experience for your readers, allowing them to truly lose themselves in your story. Keep painting those pictures with your words!

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Your choice of perspective really draws readers into your story or helps them understand complex topics with ease. You're a natural at making your writing relatable and engaging!

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You convey your message clearly and effectively, making sure your readers always come away with a clear understanding of what you're trying to say. Keep shining your light!

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Your writing is exceptionally well-organized. It's easy for readers to follow along and understand your ideas effortlessly!

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Your mastery of grammar ensures that your writing is clear, concise, and easy to understand. You're a grammar guru!

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Your ability to craft a cohesive and compelling storyline is truly impressive. Your characters, conflicts, and resolutions fit together seamlessly, making for a captivating read every time!

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You're beginning to add some flair to your writing, which is nice! Keep practicing to develop your own unique voice and style.

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You're starting to include context in your stories, which is pretty good! Keep adding more details to make your stories richer.

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Your descriptive words add some life to your stories! Keep practicing to make your scenes even better.

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Ms J's Feedback

Ahmad, I can see that you did your research on Tina Turner, but it looks like you haven't edited your work, as some paragraphs are copied here twice. Your submission also does not follow the rubric guidelines for five-paragraph personal narrative. I would like to see you submit an edited version, with more historical context and updates to the syntax and point of view. Please see the notes on your grading rubric and access your essay at https://ha.cool to continue to work on it. Email me at ereichel@philasd.org when you have completed your revised version, and I will regrade it. Please do this by 3/29.

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EXTRA CREDIT: Give yourself one point of extra credit for each of the website assets you added to your page: Header photo, square photo, video, quote, hook +_________
 

Add up the numbers on this page. Write your final grade here: _______ / _______

Exit Assessment: On a separate sheet of paper, respond to your grade. 
What did you do well? What do you need to improve?
What areas will you focus on next time to raise your writing score?

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Reach!

Stretch!

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My Scores

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1

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